Monday, December 21, 2020

Letter 1

Dear Grimwad,

Congratulations on your new assignment! You will find this very challenging, thanks to your predecessor's grotesque incompetence. He sends his agonized regrets.

You must act quickly to prevent further catastrophe. Several points in the patient's dossier suggest promising directions, but all demand your utmost vigilance.

Yes, the patient is a Christian. He has the enthusiasm of a new convert and is trying to do those exercises he thinks a Christian ought to. Unfortunately, he is largely correct.

You cannot directly stop him from his good intentions. But you can finesse them.

If he insists on reading his Bible, suggest a chapter a day. When he bogs down, make sure to keep distractions nearby.

The first time he forgets he'll resolve to do better. Go all out with distractions the second day. Make sure these are plausibly important ones, to give him good excuses. Then, at night on the third day, as he tries to catch up, he'll fall asleep.

You will take the obvious precaution of having him do his devotions at the end of the day.

Without much effort, you can persuade him that he needs to start over from the beginning. Never let him dream of starting anywhere else, or come near the idea that some parts might be more important than others—make him think that blasphemous. He should "do it right this time." And the next time.

Then, by the Rule of Frustration, a habit of failure will turn into a habit of aversion.

Sadly, discouragement at this level isn't a sin, but if it cuts off this bit of access to the Enemy, it will serve us.

Be delicate about this. Any familiarity with that horrible volume is dangerous. Even some scholars we had well controlled slipped away when the Enemy took a verse they'd parsed down to dry bone, and made it come alive again.

For some patients, making him a connoisseur of translations can instill pride and a critical eye instead of a receptive heart, but yours hasn't that literary bent. A pity.

Your patient is rich beyond the dreams of those worms from only a few centuries ago. Don't let him suspect that. He mustn't dream that perpetual entertainment is not normal, or is anything less than his birthright.

He wants to surround himself with Christian songs. Very well, surfeit him.

The risk is obvious. What he is immersed in will affect him. If he develops attitudes of reverence or gratitude he's lost. But we can use weaknesses of the vermin to win.

Our goal with this surfeit is two-pronged.

First, hearing the same songs over and over often deadens their ears to the meaning. If you are cautious to keep entertainment always present, after a while he will feel (not think, mind you!) that hymns are another kind of entertainment, will cease to notice the meaning of the words, become bored, and change the channel. He will come back again, but insofar as he uses hymns as entertainment, they become much less dangerous.

This will blunt their attack from that direction and give us a breathing space to work on him. It may take a very long time to wean him off the Enemy's songs. Even when you succeed, you must beware, since the Enemy calls using songs from genres you might think were safe. Never forget that music is _his_ invention.

In the second prong of our counterattack, we will fill his all time with sound. Let there be no quiet. When he goes for a walk, have him bring his music. When he drives, have him turn on the news. Whisper to him that he will sleep better with music. Let him always hear the sounds of man.

If he has a taste for the discordant and ugly, so much the better, but for now let him never be still.

In silence he might hear his own heart, and be afraid, and turn back to the Enemy. Worse yet, he might hear the Enemy speaking.

Keep him away from his cousin as much as you can. His cousin's file says he likes fishing in quiet mornings. You see the danger there.

Fortunately, your patient is a talkative sort, and already finds silence uncomfortable.

We can salvage this situation yet. I will write about prayer in my next.

Your mentor, Baldagon

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