Fear Less by Gavin de Becker

Gavin wrote the famous The Gift of Fear about how fear is supposed to be used to keep you safe, and how to understand risks. We have used this with a couple of our kids with Aspergers to try to explain how to analyse behaviors, something Aspergers folks don't learn automatically. This book is an application of those same principles to the fear of terrorists post-911.

Some of what he writes about is common sense. The world has never been safe. If your enemy threatens you, he isn't attacking you. Try to understand what the real risks are, not just those things that worry you. Learn how to trust your fears. Don't feed your fears; you want to be able to trust your instincts and you can't do that if you try to worry about everything. Don't demonize your enemy; you can't defeat a demon.

His analysis of airline security is scathing: most of the "security" precautions are designed to make people feel confident, not address the real risks: which aren't that hard to address. He calls in the experts to explain how to survive chemical or biological attack--and it isn't nearly as hard as you think. (Don't panic, keep stuff off your skin, breathe slowly and get away from the area. You've now got an excellent chance to exagerate your story to your grandkids.)

And he devotes two chapters to explaining why you shouldn't watch TV news reports. Their stock in trade is exageration and fear-mongering, and you want your fear sense tuned to real risks. "Anytime you hear the word possible, it's probably not happening right now." "Almost always when you hear the word link, there is no confirmed link." On experts: "Imagine being challenged by a difficult illness and finding that your doctor's compassionate and complete thirty-minute presentation had been edited down to twenty-three seconds."

The chapter on the enemy and compassion seems more or less sensible, though it isn't quite clear what measures he supports during a war. FWIW, I can't recall anything in ancient or modern history that resembles the care we've tried to take to protect civilians in Iraq, except similar measures in Kosovo and the first Iraq campaign. I don't know if that's what he's talking about or not.

He offers resource pointers in appendices, and advice about how to talk to kids about terrorism and how to keep them from excessive worry. Roughly, this is: Explain that parents protect their kids. Don't watch and rewatch terrifying scenes (network TV again), and don't talk about worst case scenarios when the kids are around.

Read it. And get ahold of The Gift of Fear while you're at it. You probably won't need his company's services, though.