Friday, April 19, 2019

Purgatorio

The birthday cake I decorated with more enthusiasm than skill for mother, which I dropped into the sofa when I ran to show her--that was there. So was the time I turned to talk to Ben in the back seat and blew the stop sign and ruined Maggie's leg. And the time my great-grandson threw up on his date after getting tequila-drunk the way his grandad used to--who had learned it from me. It was all there.

I could see all of history, from the beginning to the ending, including all of my part in it. Much was horrid, some redeemed. I was eternally grateful to be part of the latter.

"I never knew the ripples from my choices could spread so far. She was tricked 140 years after I died!"

"I made you all to be connected to each other."

"I caused so much pain." I would say I thought a minute, but time didn't work the same anymore. "Can I take their pain back, make it fall on me instead?"

"Are you asking to help me wipe every tear from their eyes and make all things new?"

"Yes!"

I could feel that he was proud of me as he said "Be strong. Take my hand."

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