Sunday, October 28, 2012

Summarizing marriage advice

Eldest Daughter and Maggie’s Farm both recommended 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage (two of them). His advice: Don’t stop holding her hand; don’t call names; don’t stop being attractive; don’t stop having fun together; don’t stop kissing her, and so on.

Quite a few of these are consequences of some simple principles.

  1. You don’t know when you are going to die. What do you want her last memory of you to be? A kiss, maybe? Not being a slob or of angry words?
  2. She wants to feel she can trust you. Around other women, dealing with the children, etc.
  3. She likes to feel wanted. Though I’m given to understand that proving this can be overdone.
  4. Try to keep alert to what she needs. "But the game is on!" or "I’m posting on the blog" don’t quite cut it
  5. If you give up a sense of entitlement, everything is a gift. Best if both of you feel that way; something to figure out before you get married

For better or for worse, an adventure, with surprise traveling companions along the way.

4 comments:

Assistant Village Idiot said...

Hard to argue with that advice, but which is cart and which is horse?

james said...

Dunno. Some things grow up together, and you see they're connected but not whether one or the other is prior.

Anyhow, fewer rules=simpler to remember. Usually.

kyp Belligerent said...

It helps to have had a good example, I think. Give and appreciate, be aware and communicate. Err on the side of kindness. Don't let the sun go down on your anger.

Korora said...

"The other six months out of every year/We are hardly ever seen apart/But then those Washington Senators* take over my place in his heeeaaart..." -- "Six Months Out of Every Year", Damn Yankees

*Now the Minnesota Twins.