Modern writers have often made game of the old chronicles because they chiefly record accidents and prodigies; a church struck by lightning, or a calf with six legs. They do not seem to realize that this old barbaric history is the same as the new democratic journalism. It is not that the savage chronicle has disappeared. It is merely that the savage chronicle now appears every morning.
Or from "Birds who won't sing" in the same volume:
If reapers sing while reaping, why should not auditors sing while auditing and bankers while banking? If there are songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a boat, why are there not songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a bank? As the train flew through the Kentish gardens, I tried to write a few songs suitable for commercial gentlemen. Thus, the work of bank clerks when casting up columns might begin with a thundering chorus in praise of Simple Addition.
"Up my lads and lift the ledgers, sleep and ease are o'er.
Hear the Stars of Morning shouting: 'Two and Two are Four.'
Though the creeds and realms are reeling, though the sophists roar,
Though we weep and pawn our watches, Two and Two are Four."
"There's a run upon the Bank--
Stand away!
For the Manager's a crank and the Secretary drank
and the Upper Tooting Bank
Turns to bay!
Stand close: there is a run
On the Bank.
Of our ship, our royal one, let the ringing legend run,
that she fired with every gun
Ere she sank."
Or from "Glimpse of My Country"
If you have the good fortune to really talk with a statesman, you will be constantly startled with his saying quite intelligent things. It makes one nervous at first.
Although I'm not persuaded
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