The village doesn't just supply "support." It supplies roles and norms: You don't get that support unless other people abide by those norms. and play those roles. They'll apply to you too. The village will demand things of you.
The politicians want money and adulation, of course, but the village wants you to do particular things. You're a father? Get out there and do the work to take care of your family. If you spend your time drinking palm wine, you get no respect, and not much in the way of assistance.
The roles can be constraining, no question.
But, if you're not clever or adventurous enough to make your own way, those roles also liberate you from futility. You do X. Maybe you don't like it all that much, but it gives you a way to contribute, and feeling useless corrodes the soul.
I've met quite a few people who would have lived happier lives if someone in their lives had said: "Go do X. And then Y. And follow this example." And I don't mean their peers--when you're young your cohort is as inexperienced and unwise as you are, and if they're the only ones you learn from you won't be a wise adult.
I'm not saying that we need to appoint some directors to tell everyone on the low half of the bell curve what to do. That doesn't work out well for anybody. But somehow or another inherited/traditional wisdom needs to get passed on. For a lot of us that means learning some roles.
And by roles, I don't mean Tinder swipes. That may be a face-saving way of proposing interest or rejecting it, but it's impersonal. It isn't a social role.
But are roles what we want--even when they obviously work? Are we willing to want them--and not just for other people?
1 comment:
It supplies rules and norms.
Well, yes. But no one is supposed to notice that. You are just supposed to send in your money, and the government officials will supply rules and norms.
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