Rituals

BBC has an article about how rituals help us connect; little things that we do together. The interview doesn't go into how to create them, or if robust ones only arrise spontaneously, and I'm not buying the book right now to find out.

It struck me that there might be a dark side--rituals that disconnect and repel us from each other. Are there rituals in unhappy marriages, or rituals that reinforce solitude?

Some tribal recitations are ritualistic, even though they're not actions, for example the conversational challenge/response that assures your comrades that you're still one of them."

Decades ago we got a year-long subscription to Chocolatier (I think that was the name) magazine. Out of the 12 issues we recall nothing but the recipe for cranberry nut bars, which everybody liked and we've made every year as a Christmas bar since: a spontaneous tradition. In the other direction, early in our marriage we didn't do anything in particular for Advent, but some time ago we decided to make the Advent candle time a tradition, and barring the sometimes illness it has been so ever since: deliberately creating a tradition, with our particular flavor.